July 29, 2010 reflecting on June 23, 2010
The details are beginning to get fuzzy at this point. I have a reference to our interview with Dominica (or Dominga - I never did find clarity on how to pronounce her name correctly) and her son, Pastor. Dominica is probably close to 100 years old by most people's accounts. She is a delightfully affectionate woman - who is given to embracing the hands of those she is talking to - like she is holding a precious treasure that she will not easily let go of. When asked to tell her story - and I think specific reference was made to the time in Honduras and the return... She begins with a long pause after the words "Eso sí...." (Roughly translated, "Yes, that...") The introduction and the pause gives the feeling of heavily significant memories - as if they were tucked away in a large family album or Bible that must be lifted from a locked trunk and dusted off. There is a recording of this interview, so I won't go into details (not to mention the fact that I don't recall which details in my mind come from her own telling of the story.) I did write down in my notebook "Viera la alegria" ("If you could see the happiness!") upon how she felt when they were finally able to return to El Salvador. She also, according to my extremely sparse notes, referenced the night of November 11 when the soldiers camped in this very space where we were gathered for this conversation. "Diós nos ha querido, quizás." ("God has loved us, perhaps.") - This phrase holds in it the weight of reflection on the years that have passed - and a hope, it would seem, recognizing that things really are better now. But there is also that nagging grain of doubt in the comment which in my mind begs the question...through all the suffering, was God loving us even then? Pastor clarifies that they returned to this place in the 3rd wave - mentions the importance of the "directiva" community leaders that were formed through their experiences in "the refuge". The last words written in my notes on this interview are: "Como se trata de perdonar." (This could be translated in two ways: "How it is all about forgiveness." "How we try to forgive." It is unclear if the forgiveness is a solid reality in this story or something that is evasive and hard to grasp. Regardless, it is crucial to the story of continuing on after so much suffering inflicted upon them by their fellow Salvadorans.
This was also the day of the community leaders meeting with the lawyer and topographer responsible for the land legalization process. We looked at the maps - with each agricultural plot portioned off, ready to be turned in for revision to the governing authorities. Carlos Ávalos from Habitat for Humanity was also there. What most caught my attention in this meeting was the discussion on how to distribute the lots - with great concern placed on the fairness of the process. Pastor pointed out that it would be unfair, for example, for him to choose a lot close to the one Rosita is assigned simply because it would be convenient. There must be a completely random lottery - basically a pulling of numbers from the hat so that the distribution is random and no favoritism can take place. Some of the lots are more desirable in terms of land formation or location, but the topographer took great care to ensure that every lot measures exactly the same in square meters.
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