ABEMACICLIB. Can you pronounce this word? I find it difficult, even after repeatedly listening to the computer generated pronunciation provided by the National Cancer Institute website. My mouth is not used to making these particular sounds in this particular order. This is unchartered territory which leaves us a bit tongue-tied.
Perhaps this is a good metaphor for how we are sitting with the news of tumor growth that was more than what the doctor would have liked to see. We are not used to walking these particular steps in this particular order and have been less enthusiastic to share what feels like non-news (cat got your tongue?). There is a drug (see above) typically used for breast cancer that might help to slow the growth. We are looking into this but have not yet made a decision.
I will have another scan in 8 weeks. It seems best to postpone surgery as long as possible. At the moment there are no organs in danger of being affected by the tumor and in general I am feeling fine. There are no signs of metastatic disease (spreading to other parts of the body). We can count these facts as 2 pieces of good news.
Another piece of good news is that we now have the opportunity and a time frame within which to focus those targeted prayers on shrinking this tumor away to nothing. I appreciate you, who continue to read, as this is a long-haul kind of prayer commitment. I have been particularly blessed by the offers of 2 friends to join me in a spiritual fast for my healing alongside my own intermittent fasting, giving my body some time each day for the work of healing without the distraction of food to be digested.
I am mostly focused on living life between scans at this point as we stumble through this unchartered territory. I even stumbled upon a conversation with Jesus after asking Him if a particular household item might last for the rest of my life. *Well, how long do you want to live?" came the response. I was encouraged by the opportunity to tell Jesus that I would like to live long enough to see my grandchildren grow up, no matter how many household items need to be replaced in that time. To be honest, I'd never thought about articulating the desire of my heart in terms of life-span. We don't necessarily get to choose, but we do get to ask.
Thank you for your continued prayers as we cling to the miracle working, healing power of Jesus, living every day, not as if it were my last but because I have my whole life ahead of me.
In the meantime, we have been so blessed to have Rubén, Mateo, and Kaleigh here for a visit, including a magical walk through "The Wardrobe" on our Narnia trail covered in a blanket of snow.
In the bold confidence of God's care and the joy of God's good gifts,
Dawn Noelle
