Here with the power to heal now and the grace to forgive (Migrated from PostHope)

I believe that You're here now, standing in our midst, here with the power to heal now, and the grace to forgive. 

Maybe this stanza is familiar to you.  It was written by Marc Nelson in 1987 for Mercy/Vineyard Publishing.  You can listen to it here. 

As Jason led us in worship last night, the truth of God's power to heal and grace to forgive rang truer than ever for me in this time of waiting for CT scan results and follow-up oncology appointment on January 8.  

Since our time of rejoicing at the "no new growth" news in October, it is tempting to look back to evaluate my own efforts to stay the course:  intermittent fasting, sugar and simple carb restrictions, preparing healthy meals for myself with cancer-fighting ingredients, believing and proclaiming that God is shrinking this tumor, daily praise and worship with my own guitar.  

Some of the above I have done well with, some so-so, and some not so well.  So it is comforting to be praying for a positive outcome along with the reassurance of God's power to heal and grace to forgive where I have fallen short. 

So we did get the CT scan result this morning - which does show some growth but we won't know much more until my appointment on January 8.  The kids will all be with with us for a visit at that time. (I LOVE being able to say that I am a mother of 3 since Mateo got married last July!) 

In the meantime,  keep up the prayers.  They are much appreciated!  

In the bold confidence of God's care and the joy of God's good gifts.  

-Dawn Noelle

No New Growth (Migrated from PostHope)

In terms of cancer, "no new growth" is a very positive phrase to hear.  I am happy to report that those targeted prayers that so many of you have been praying on my behalf seem to be working!  The mass was measured at 4.2 X 7cm this time around, which is actually an overall mass SMALLER than the measurement from my August scan! The PET scan showed very little activity in and around the mass (less than my liver, in fact, whatever that means).  My oncologist believes that this is almost certainly a well-differentiated, slow growing liposarcoma (that's a clickable link for those of you are new to this journey).  This is what was removed from my abdomen back in January 2022 along with a faster growing, "dedifferentiated" portion that was encapsulated in the slower growing stuff. Given my history - a biopsy doesn't seem necessary.  We are also opting for observing this tumor rather than surgery at this time.  Often times these types of tumors just grow back and unless it is growing quickly or there are other health-risks or severe symptoms that are otherwise untreatable, the risk of surgery outweighs the benefits.  Currently my only real symptom is some pain in my side which is fairly well managed. With a twinkle in my eye I asked the doctor if she had ever seen a tumor like this shrink on its own (knowing that I have a pretty powerful prayer force in play).  She said that she has seen these tumors stay the same size for up to 10 years.  So, I'm excited to see if this mobilized prayer force can shrink this tumor even more! This continued "targeted prayer therapy" is especially coveted knowing that even if it begins to grow, the current drugs available only have a 10-15% success rate with this type of cancer.  At this point my doctor does not recommend any drug therapies. 

They did find some activity in my thyroid which they will follow-up with an ultrasound, but the doctor isn't too worried as thyroid nodules are fairly common.  Given my family history with thyroid cancer, however, I would appreciate prayers on this front as well and will keep folks posted here, but I'm not really worried about this for now. 

Other than the ultra-sound for my thyroid, we will follow-up with a CT scan in January.  I hope to post some reflections that have been brewing soon, but for now I wanted to get the good news out and to THANK YOU for all of your prayers, giving glory to God, my maker and my healer.

Also, to let you know that fall has set in here in Rail Road Flat.  

Targeted Prayer Therapy (Migrated from PostHope)

When my mom had thyroid cancer, the second time around (I think), they began something called "targeted drug therapy".  I don't really remember anymore the names of the drugs they used - but this phrase popped into my head recently as a gentleman at church told me he was praying for me daily, and not just "general prayer".  I thought - "targeted prayer therapy"...that's exactly what I need.  I've been asking people to pray that this mass would just "go away". That God would shrink it or dissolve it.  Stranger things have happened and miracles do abound. Whoever you are reading this right now, I appreciate you and your prayers!  My PET scan is just 2 days away, so this is a good time to amplify and increase the intensity of those prayers.  If you know me at all you know that I'm willing and able to face whatever may come - as God gives me grace, it is sufficient.  That this miracle I am asking for - or whatever the journey may hold - be a testimony to God's healing power, and the strength available along the way!  That others would see and believe in The Way of Jesus!   

In the bold confidence of God's care and the joy of God's good gifts,

Dawn Noelle

(Speaking of The Way of Jesus, we just published our latest Waypoint update.  Feel free to sign-up to receive these newsletters if you haven't already: bit.ly/WaypointCompass).  

God waits with us (Migrated from PostHope)

 It has been almost 2 weeks since we received the news.  After a clean scan in April, my August scan shows a 7.7cm X 4cm growth in the resection bed of my retroperitoneum near my left ovary.  I'm scheduled for a PET scan on October 3 to see how active this is and will be referred to a surgeon at UC Davis.  My options will be: 1. Watch and wait. 2. Biopsy. 3. Surgical removal.  

Here's what I know:  There is a 98% chance that this is a recurrence of the same cancer I had before.  Liposarcoma doesn't tend to respond well to treatment, so removal will likely be the best option.  I have felt an increased "pinching" (nerve pain) in my side and I took a 4 hour nap yesterday afternoon - that is unusual for me.  

Here's what I don't know:  IF this is liposarcoma, is it well-differentiated (slower growing) or de-differentiated (faster growing)? The PET scan will give us a better chance at an educated guess.  Only a biopsy can determine definitively the answer to this question.  What is God going to do?  We wait expectantly for the answer to this question and invite you to pray with us for an even greater miracle (that it shrinks and even disappears before the PET scan would be the most desirable answer to prayer).  

Here's how I feel:  I have been on quite a spiritual journey the last couple of weeks.  The day after my oncology appointment I read Lamentations 3.  Jeremiah starts as a "man who has seen affliction". He talks of skin which has grown old, a heart that is pierced, and teeth that have been broken with gravel.  I was really feeling Jeremiah as the blow of our news sank in.  Reading Jeremiah's misery resonated and felt familiar.  Then I got to the middle of the chapter and I had to put the book down resisting the hope that was offered in an even more familiar phrase:  His mercies are new every morning. 

I have wrestled a lot with God this time around.  That peace that surpasses all understanding?  Well, I really had to work for it.  My striving mode kicked in.  Intermittent fasting, avoiding all sugar, picking up my guitar again to make an offering of praise...

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.

His mercies never come to an end.

They are new every morning, new every morning.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord!

Great is Thy faithfulness!"

I can sing this through without my voice breaking now - sometimes.  And I believe it, mostly. 

There truly have been new mercies even as we wait...October 3 seems like it is a long way off.  One of those mercies came in the form of Isaiah 30:18.

"Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you."

It is a comfort and a wonder that God waits with us...and the assurance that His grace is what awaits us on the other side of whatever each day holds is what we hold onto.

Be sure to "follow" if you want updates on my health!

In the bold confidence of God's care and the joy of God's good gifts, 

Dawn Noelle

p.s.  We have recently been studying the compelling case that Jesus was likely born during the "Feast of Trumpets" also known as "Yom Teruah or Rosh Hashanah" - the Jewish New Year. As we entered into 5784 just this past weekend, our humble little coffee-wood nativity set from Costa Rica is now on display in the entryway of our house.  

I choose life (Migrated from PostHope)

 Pen to paper journal entry from December 31, 2022:

I can write or I can live life. 

As if life somehow stops in the moments of written reflection - creation of a record - frozen in time to be viewed/read by future generations and future iterations of myself. 

Boxes - maybe two? - of journals collect dust in our crawl space beneath the house. Even those are subject to decay and this frozen moment - each frozen moment - fades from view. 

There is nothing about my life worth etching in stone. I can only hope to etch wisdom and love on the hearts of those close enough to touch...and that is enough. 

I can write or I can live life. 

I choose life. 

I suppose this is my "apologetic" for why I have not been writing much in recent months. After a wonderfully celebratory Waypoint Wedding Feast with the love of my life, friends, family, and neighbors in August - I went back to work but not fully back to myself as my energy continued to feel low - even after the "9 month" mark. The surgeon said I might feel normal. How can I feel normal with only one kidney and no spleen?  A new normal I suppose, but there are still tugs of remembrance on my insides. My energy was low as well - until I was diagnosed with "severe anemia" and prescribed daily ferrous sulfate.  That actually seems to have helped and I have finally found the energy to walk 2 dogs on my own in the woods without my walking stick, take on an additional contract for Read Aloud Workshops in San Francisco, and actually write a Waypoint update/newsletter (send me your email or snail mail address if you'd like to receive a "The Compass" - or ministry update). The last updates were both written in July🙈

Life has been busy - sometimes challenging - and video visits with my oncologist are mostly "non-events" which is good. My latest CT scan in December came back clean.  I'm now one year in to a "20% DFS rate within the next 5-7 years". I'm sure there is a math equation in there somewhere to see if my chances have improved now with one year's worth of clean CT scans....but I'd rather dedicate my time to living life.  I'll also continue to write.  The two things don't always feel mutually exclusive...just most days.  

Here are a couple of things that have nourished my body and my soul - fruit of the woods and gifts of God.

"Chicken of the Woods" - apparently a super food -  growing on an old felled oak and the crystal-like dusting of snow and ice marking the beginning of Winter at Waypoint in 2022.