I choose life (Migrated from PostHope)

 Pen to paper journal entry from December 31, 2022:

I can write or I can live life. 

As if life somehow stops in the moments of written reflection - creation of a record - frozen in time to be viewed/read by future generations and future iterations of myself. 

Boxes - maybe two? - of journals collect dust in our crawl space beneath the house. Even those are subject to decay and this frozen moment - each frozen moment - fades from view. 

There is nothing about my life worth etching in stone. I can only hope to etch wisdom and love on the hearts of those close enough to touch...and that is enough. 

I can write or I can live life. 

I choose life. 

I suppose this is my "apologetic" for why I have not been writing much in recent months. After a wonderfully celebratory Waypoint Wedding Feast with the love of my life, friends, family, and neighbors in August - I went back to work but not fully back to myself as my energy continued to feel low - even after the "9 month" mark. The surgeon said I might feel normal. How can I feel normal with only one kidney and no spleen?  A new normal I suppose, but there are still tugs of remembrance on my insides. My energy was low as well - until I was diagnosed with "severe anemia" and prescribed daily ferrous sulfate.  That actually seems to have helped and I have finally found the energy to walk 2 dogs on my own in the woods without my walking stick, take on an additional contract for Read Aloud Workshops in San Francisco, and actually write a Waypoint update/newsletter (send me your email or snail mail address if you'd like to receive a "The Compass" - or ministry update). The last updates were both written in July🙈

Life has been busy - sometimes challenging - and video visits with my oncologist are mostly "non-events" which is good. My latest CT scan in December came back clean.  I'm now one year in to a "20% DFS rate within the next 5-7 years". I'm sure there is a math equation in there somewhere to see if my chances have improved now with one year's worth of clean CT scans....but I'd rather dedicate my time to living life.  I'll also continue to write.  The two things don't always feel mutually exclusive...just most days.  

Here are a couple of things that have nourished my body and my soul - fruit of the woods and gifts of God.

"Chicken of the Woods" - apparently a super food -  growing on an old felled oak and the crystal-like dusting of snow and ice marking the beginning of Winter at Waypoint in 2022.