So I came to Ephesians chapter 1 - and have continued to read before I go back to Genesis - but I also read 2 Corinthians 13 today as a part of morning prayers. Yes, I continue to be resistant to attributing things to God - but he seems to make it pretty hard for me to deny. I keep finding passages (in a seeming random way) that address my struggle. Today I am challenged to take Paul's promises as God's promises...In Ephesians 3 Paul speaks of God's glorious, unlimited resources and his ability to empower us with inner strength. He seems to promise that "Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong." I have experienced this to be true - but am reluctant to attribute Paul's promise to God. Probably just because I am stubborn. And then I come to 2 Corinthians - where Paul specifically builds a case for his own authority. "I will give you all the proof you want that Christ speaks through me." The rest of the Corinthians passage is particularly powerful in speaking of God's own manifestation of strength through the weakness of Christ crucified. He then goes on to seemingly directly affirm my current journey: "Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith."
This makes a lot of sense. My journey of "testing God's promises" is actually a journey of testing my own faith. It's funny (weird/strange funny, not "lol" funny)...Am I ready to say that I have failed the test? I seem unwilling to say for sure that Jesus Christ is among us...why am I so stubborn? There is much evidence to suggest that he is, indeed, present. Maybe I do actually know . . . but there is some conflict going on in my soul. Do I really want to admit that I am struggling with my very identity as a Christian? That feels pretty scary. My experience tells me that God can handle it so it is o.k. I'm not always sure that others can, though.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Ephesians 2
This seems like an important passage to have "under my belt" as I prepare to go back to the beginning to search for promises. A couple of years ago I sought out all the passages in the Bible in which a covenant is mentioned. I did this by reading through the Bible in paragraph form. This was an important exercise for me in preparing myself to enter into a covenant relationship with the body of believers that God has brought me to. I was specifically looking for examples of covenants made between people, but the overwhelming majority of covenants mentioned in the Bible are the covenants that God made with his people. It is time for me to revisit those covenants - and this message in Ephesians to the Gentiles helps to point me in the direction of receiving God's promises to his people.
"You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope."
Yes, God's promises bring hope. I have mentioned before that eschatological (what will happen in the end) hope somehow escapes me. It has been suggested that I look to the book of Revelations, the foretelling of the coming apocalypse, to find promises. It was also commented that I am a "glutton for punishment" for looking into the Old Testament for promises. (See my entry on Zephaniah.) This passage in Ephesians affirms my vision to dig toward the foundations of my faith. What promises did God offer his people from the beginning?
"So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God's holy people. You are members of God's family. Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit."
There is something about the structure of my faith which has been called into question, so I am wanting to go back, reexamine and rebuild - just as Nehemiah did with the wall in Jerusalem. I want to read well the promises of redemption so that I know better what I should expect from God. If there are promises of destruction (as I found in Zephaniah) - I want to hear those as well. I am not easily led to despair. This journey is about knowing well the place of faith I find myself in. There may be blocks of stone that I assume to be there which are not (expectations I have of God which are not based on his promises) - if I find this to be true - I want to replace the phantom blocks with real promises as the foundation of my faith.
I have also begun to contemplate the source and the reasoning for a few very personal "words" I have heard (in my head?) - and have attributed to God - mainly because they were very clear and have stuck with me. The first was a prophetic warning - which did indeed come to pass. One was a promise - which has yet to be fulfilled. The last was an instruction - which I continue to follow, but it is an instruction that implies a hope - and I sometimes wonder if it is unfounded. As a part of my process I hope to analyze these words in the light of the promises I have found in the Bible. Do they fall in line with God as he has revealed himself in Scripture? Can I trust them, or should they be taken only with a grain of salt? These are not the most important words from God in my life - but they do seem to significantly influence my actions.
I am having trouble finding a way to end this well, so I will simpldy do so here.
"You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope."
Yes, God's promises bring hope. I have mentioned before that eschatological (what will happen in the end) hope somehow escapes me. It has been suggested that I look to the book of Revelations, the foretelling of the coming apocalypse, to find promises. It was also commented that I am a "glutton for punishment" for looking into the Old Testament for promises. (See my entry on Zephaniah.) This passage in Ephesians affirms my vision to dig toward the foundations of my faith. What promises did God offer his people from the beginning?
"So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God's holy people. You are members of God's family. Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit."
There is something about the structure of my faith which has been called into question, so I am wanting to go back, reexamine and rebuild - just as Nehemiah did with the wall in Jerusalem. I want to read well the promises of redemption so that I know better what I should expect from God. If there are promises of destruction (as I found in Zephaniah) - I want to hear those as well. I am not easily led to despair. This journey is about knowing well the place of faith I find myself in. There may be blocks of stone that I assume to be there which are not (expectations I have of God which are not based on his promises) - if I find this to be true - I want to replace the phantom blocks with real promises as the foundation of my faith.
I have also begun to contemplate the source and the reasoning for a few very personal "words" I have heard (in my head?) - and have attributed to God - mainly because they were very clear and have stuck with me. The first was a prophetic warning - which did indeed come to pass. One was a promise - which has yet to be fulfilled. The last was an instruction - which I continue to follow, but it is an instruction that implies a hope - and I sometimes wonder if it is unfounded. As a part of my process I hope to analyze these words in the light of the promises I have found in the Bible. Do they fall in line with God as he has revealed himself in Scripture? Can I trust them, or should they be taken only with a grain of salt? These are not the most important words from God in my life - but they do seem to significantly influence my actions.
I am having trouble finding a way to end this well, so I will simpldy do so here.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Ezekiel 34
"This is what the sovereign Lord says: I now consider these shepherds my enemies, and I will hold them responsible for what has happened to my flock. I will take away their right to feed the flock, and I will stop them from feeding themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths; the sheep will no longer be their prey. . . I myself will search and find my sheep. I will be like a shepherd looking for his scattered flock. I will find my sheep and rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on that dark and cloudy day. I will bring them back home to their own land of Israel from among the peoples and nations. I will feed them on the mountains of Israel and by the rivers and in all the places where people live. Yes, I will give them good pastureland on the high hills of Israel. There they will lie down in pleasant places and feed in the lush pastures of the hills. I myself will tend my sheep and give them a place to lie down in peace . . . I will search for my lost ones who strayed away, and I will bring them safely home again. I will bandage the injured and strengthen the weak. But I will destroy those who are fat and powerful. I will feed them, yes - feed them justice! . . . I will judge between one animal of the flock and another, separating the sheep from the goats. . . I will surely judge between the fat sheep and the scrawny sheep. For you fat sheep pushed and butted and crowded my sick and hungry flock until you scattered them to distant lands. So I will rescue my flock, and they will no longer be abused. I will judge between one animal of the flock and another. And I will set over them one shepherd, my servant David. He will feed them and be a shepherd to them. And I, the Lord, will be their God, and my servant David will be a prince among my people. I, the Lord, have spoken! I will make a covenant of peace with my people and drive away the dangerous animals from the land. Then they will be able to camp safely in the wildest places and sleep in the woods without fear. I will bless my people and their homes around my holy hill. And in the proper season I will send the showers they need. There will be showers of blessing. The orchards and fields of my people will yield bumper crops, and everyone will live in safety. When I have broken their chains of slavery and rescued them from those who enslaved them, then they will know that I am the Lord. They will no longer be prey for other nations, and wild animals will no longer devour them. They will live in safety, and no one will frighten them. And I will make their land famous for its crops, so my people will never again suffer from famines or the insults of foreign nations. In this way, they will know that I, the Lord their God, am with them. And they will know that they, the people of Israel, are my people."
Within this passage there is much judgement and there is much hope. These are promises which motivate me to live on the side of the injured, the weak, the scrawny, the sick, the hungry, the abused, the lost ones who strayed away, the ones who are enslaved, the ones in prison, the thirsty, the naked, the stranger. . . for it is there that I might perhaps experience the showers of blessing that are promised in our greatest time of need. This is where I want to live. This is where I want to stay. Counter-intuitively, this is the place of safety.
I came of age under the shadow of the political slogan "Peace through strength" - a phrased coined by the supporters of the MX missile in the 1970's - it became the rally cry of Reagan's political campaign in the late 1980s. The oxymoron of this justification of the accumulation of military might is perhaps subtle. A simple walking forward with this idea will bring one to it's logical conclusion - as Andrew Bacevich (retired career Army officer and self described conservative catholic) has pointed out that "belief in the efficacy of military power almost inevitably breeds the temptation to put that power to work. 'Peace through strength' easily enough becomes 'peace through war.'"
The prophet Ezekiel gives voice to God's offering of another way. The alternative: Peace through weakness. Is this not where God's strength is made perfect? For those who claim to follow the God of the Torah and/or the Bible - we would do well to take heed that we not find ourselves living on the side of the fat and powerful.
Within this passage there is much judgement and there is much hope. These are promises which motivate me to live on the side of the injured, the weak, the scrawny, the sick, the hungry, the abused, the lost ones who strayed away, the ones who are enslaved, the ones in prison, the thirsty, the naked, the stranger. . . for it is there that I might perhaps experience the showers of blessing that are promised in our greatest time of need. This is where I want to live. This is where I want to stay. Counter-intuitively, this is the place of safety.
I came of age under the shadow of the political slogan "Peace through strength" - a phrased coined by the supporters of the MX missile in the 1970's - it became the rally cry of Reagan's political campaign in the late 1980s. The oxymoron of this justification of the accumulation of military might is perhaps subtle. A simple walking forward with this idea will bring one to it's logical conclusion - as Andrew Bacevich (retired career Army officer and self described conservative catholic) has pointed out that "belief in the efficacy of military power almost inevitably breeds the temptation to put that power to work. 'Peace through strength' easily enough becomes 'peace through war.'"
The prophet Ezekiel gives voice to God's offering of another way. The alternative: Peace through weakness. Is this not where God's strength is made perfect? For those who claim to follow the God of the Torah and/or the Bible - we would do well to take heed that we not find ourselves living on the side of the fat and powerful.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Matthew 25 (eternity)
"But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left. Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave ma a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.'....Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, "Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons. For I was hungry, and you didn't feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn't give me a drink. I was a stranger, and you didn't invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn't give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn't visit me.'...And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life."
So, I have avoided noting "prophecy" as promises - when the Bible describes what "will happen" and am choosing to limit myself to what God says he will do. In this passage, Christ is speaking of himself (the Son of Man) in the third person - so I take it as a promise.
So, I have avoided noting "prophecy" as promises - when the Bible describes what "will happen" and am choosing to limit myself to what God says he will do. In this passage, Christ is speaking of himself (the Son of Man) in the third person - so I take it as a promise.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Zephaniah 1
These are interesting promises. I have little to say about them.
"I will sweep away everthing from the face of the earth"
"I will sweep away people and animals alike. I will sweep away the birds of the sky and the fish in the sea.. I will reduce the wicked to heaps of rubble, and I will wipe humanity from the face of the earth."
"I will crush Judah and Jerusalem with my fist and destroy every last trace of their Baal worship. I will put an end to all the idolatrous priests, so that even the memory of them will disappear."
"I will destroy those who used to worship me but now no longer do."
"On that day of judgment I will punish the leaders and princes of Judah and all those following pagan customs. Yes, I will punish those who participate in pagan worship ceremonies, and those who fill their masters' houses with violence and deceit."
"I will search with lanterns in Jerusalem's darkest corners to punish those who sit complacent in their sins."
"Because you have sinned against the Lord, I will make you grope around like the blind. Your blood will be poured into the dust, and your bodies will lie rotting on the ground."
Should we take comfort? Should we take heed? These promises may feed our vindictive side - but probably should serve more as a warning against our own sinful behavior. At the very least this is a glimpse of the darker side of God. I am grateful that this is not all there is.
"I will sweep away everthing from the face of the earth"
"I will sweep away people and animals alike. I will sweep away the birds of the sky and the fish in the sea.. I will reduce the wicked to heaps of rubble, and I will wipe humanity from the face of the earth."
"I will crush Judah and Jerusalem with my fist and destroy every last trace of their Baal worship. I will put an end to all the idolatrous priests, so that even the memory of them will disappear."
"I will destroy those who used to worship me but now no longer do."
"On that day of judgment I will punish the leaders and princes of Judah and all those following pagan customs. Yes, I will punish those who participate in pagan worship ceremonies, and those who fill their masters' houses with violence and deceit."
"I will search with lanterns in Jerusalem's darkest corners to punish those who sit complacent in their sins."
"Because you have sinned against the Lord, I will make you grope around like the blind. Your blood will be poured into the dust, and your bodies will lie rotting on the ground."
Should we take comfort? Should we take heed? These promises may feed our vindictive side - but probably should serve more as a warning against our own sinful behavior. At the very least this is a glimpse of the darker side of God. I am grateful that this is not all there is.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Judges 4
In my search for God's promises, I am not being very intentional about where I am reading, but rather, I am some following some lectionary and prayer book readings to see what I come across. Today I find a promise in the book of Judges. Through Deborah God promises victory to Barak over Sisera. This is curious to me and my pacifist sensibilities. It seems to be a military victory that is promised - for that is what is taken. God's command to Barak was to call out his army of 10,000. Deborah also proclaims that there will be no honor for Barak in this victory for the victory will be at the hands of a woman. What God does is to cause a panic among Sisera's men - and they run. What Barak does is to chase them down with his own army and kill them all. What if, instead of killing them, Barak had been content to simply chase them away - receiving the gift of victory without bloodshed? In this passage God does not command Barak or his army to kill anyone. Then there is Jael, the wife of Heber, and the awful tent peg that she drives through the temple of Sisera. He had escaped the bloodbath of Barak, only to find himself at the mercy of a woman he chose to trust. Was this the Lord's victory over Sisera? To have a tent peg driven through his temple? Or did Jael have a choice? God led Sisera to her and the victory could have been his capture - not his death.
Perhaps these are good examples of the delicate balance between grasping and receiving. God delivered Sisera into the hands of Jael - but did not instruct her to kill him. God caused the army of Sisera to flee - but did not instruct Barak to chase them down and kill them all. In this case, at least, there is no mention of God's intention to take human life. What would victory look like if we simply received it from God instead of violently grasping what has been set before us? It is interesting to me, also, that God does not assign honor to Jael, but simply states that there was no honor for Barak in this victory. These are simply my pacifist wonderings grappling with a very violent passage of scripture.
The promise in this passage was very specific to a time and a place and not for us today - but the story holds within it a lesson and a reminder. I have experienced the pain and desperation of grasping at what God has to offer and having it slip through my fingers. I have also experienced the peace of waiting patiently to receive the desires of my heart - and receiving more of what God is offering along the way. It takes effort to remain in this posture - but by his grace, at least for today, I am there.
Perhaps these are good examples of the delicate balance between grasping and receiving. God delivered Sisera into the hands of Jael - but did not instruct her to kill him. God caused the army of Sisera to flee - but did not instruct Barak to chase them down and kill them all. In this case, at least, there is no mention of God's intention to take human life. What would victory look like if we simply received it from God instead of violently grasping what has been set before us? It is interesting to me, also, that God does not assign honor to Jael, but simply states that there was no honor for Barak in this victory. These are simply my pacifist wonderings grappling with a very violent passage of scripture.
The promise in this passage was very specific to a time and a place and not for us today - but the story holds within it a lesson and a reminder. I have experienced the pain and desperation of grasping at what God has to offer and having it slip through my fingers. I have also experienced the peace of waiting patiently to receive the desires of my heart - and receiving more of what God is offering along the way. It takes effort to remain in this posture - but by his grace, at least for today, I am there.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Promises, promises...
I would like to make a fresh attempt at blogging - not for blogging's sake, but for the sake of my faith. I have been in somewhat of a crisis as of late and this will be a way for me to move forward. It has something to do with my expectations of God - wondering if he really is who I have believed him to be - and from there - wondering if who I have believed him to be is based on how he has represented himself. When certain bad things happen - it is easy to ask why, to lose faith, to be confused and shake our fists at this "all powerful God" who allows such things. Is God not as powerful as I thought? Did God abuse my trust? Did he fail to come through? Perhaps God really is not who I have believed him to be. Perhaps he has even misrepresented himself. If that is so - what can I do about it? Probably nothing but be resentful - but that doesn't seem helpful. So I am ready to put God to the test - to test his promises - and to sort out those from my own expectations. If God doesn't live up to my expectations - that is my problem - my expectations are probably misguided. If God doesn't live up to his promises - that is God's problem - and there is really nothing I can do about it anyway, because whatever or whoever God is - I know that I am not God.
So bear with me, if you choose to read and follow this process . . . it may be a long journey. I am choosing to use the Bible to sort out the promises of God - it is what I have believed to be his inspired word for most of my life. If the promises of the Bible are not true, I'm not sure I'm up to finding a new way.....The way of love, the practice of following Jesus, seems to be workable in my life. It is what I know how to do and I want to continue to grow and walk in this way. What I am calling into question is the belief that forms the foundation of this faith - with great suspicion that God will once again bring me to more solid ground. I am also sorting out the difference between belief and faith. In my mind - belief is in the head - and that is where my struggle is. Faith is in the walking out of what we believe. Can I have faith without belief? Can I continue to walk in the way of love if my belief is shaky? That is the way I plan to move forward - in faith, continuing the practices, as I explore and seek resolution (?) to my unbelief. I think I will be o.k. even if that resolution does not come. The practice of the Christian faith is a safe place for me to explore - I am not on a spiritual quest to find another way. I sense I am being heavily pursued by God - though I am also rather heavily resistant this pursuit.
Just as a bit of background, I have been reading about the open view of God, also known as "openness theology". In Zechariah 1:15 God tells his people: "I was only a little angry with my people, but the nations inflicted harm on them far beyond my intentions." This points to what I have been grappling with in my theology studies, the "God is in control" catchphrase. Things happen that God did not intend - but openness theology would say that God does not necessarily know beforehand which path each of us would choose, he does know all the possible paths and outcomes and is capable of redeeming all of them - he knows how to respond to each of our responses in order to keep his promises. From there, then, I ask myself about prophecy...and I think it works this way: God only promises what he knows he can bring about - even though the path there may be "up for grabs" in terms of how we respond to God and he in turn responds to us. God never promised me, for example, that my husband would never leave me. God never promised anyone that their marriage would last a life time. God chooses to limit his "all-powerfulness" by allowing us to make choices - and is not a co-dependent God - he does not take responsibility for our choices. If we break our promise - God does not override that. So from there - I find myself searching... What, then, has God promised us?
Today, I find the following promise in Nehemiah 1 (from verses 8 and 9) "If you are unfaithful to me I will scatter you among the nations. But if you return to me and obey my commands and live by them, then I will bring you back to the place I have chosen for my name to be honored."
How does this ring true in the reality that I know? Scattered we are, indeed, by our own unfaithfulness. Yes, I do want to be in that place that God has chosen for his name to be honored. I really like the way this sounds.
So bear with me, if you choose to read and follow this process . . . it may be a long journey. I am choosing to use the Bible to sort out the promises of God - it is what I have believed to be his inspired word for most of my life. If the promises of the Bible are not true, I'm not sure I'm up to finding a new way.....The way of love, the practice of following Jesus, seems to be workable in my life. It is what I know how to do and I want to continue to grow and walk in this way. What I am calling into question is the belief that forms the foundation of this faith - with great suspicion that God will once again bring me to more solid ground. I am also sorting out the difference between belief and faith. In my mind - belief is in the head - and that is where my struggle is. Faith is in the walking out of what we believe. Can I have faith without belief? Can I continue to walk in the way of love if my belief is shaky? That is the way I plan to move forward - in faith, continuing the practices, as I explore and seek resolution (?) to my unbelief. I think I will be o.k. even if that resolution does not come. The practice of the Christian faith is a safe place for me to explore - I am not on a spiritual quest to find another way. I sense I am being heavily pursued by God - though I am also rather heavily resistant this pursuit.
Just as a bit of background, I have been reading about the open view of God, also known as "openness theology". In Zechariah 1:15 God tells his people: "I was only a little angry with my people, but the nations inflicted harm on them far beyond my intentions." This points to what I have been grappling with in my theology studies, the "God is in control" catchphrase. Things happen that God did not intend - but openness theology would say that God does not necessarily know beforehand which path each of us would choose, he does know all the possible paths and outcomes and is capable of redeeming all of them - he knows how to respond to each of our responses in order to keep his promises. From there, then, I ask myself about prophecy...and I think it works this way: God only promises what he knows he can bring about - even though the path there may be "up for grabs" in terms of how we respond to God and he in turn responds to us. God never promised me, for example, that my husband would never leave me. God never promised anyone that their marriage would last a life time. God chooses to limit his "all-powerfulness" by allowing us to make choices - and is not a co-dependent God - he does not take responsibility for our choices. If we break our promise - God does not override that. So from there - I find myself searching... What, then, has God promised us?
Today, I find the following promise in Nehemiah 1 (from verses 8 and 9) "If you are unfaithful to me I will scatter you among the nations. But if you return to me and obey my commands and live by them, then I will bring you back to the place I have chosen for my name to be honored."
How does this ring true in the reality that I know? Scattered we are, indeed, by our own unfaithfulness. Yes, I do want to be in that place that God has chosen for his name to be honored. I really like the way this sounds.
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