So I came to Ephesians chapter 1 - and have continued to read before I go back to Genesis - but I also read 2 Corinthians 13 today as a part of morning prayers. Yes, I continue to be resistant to attributing things to God - but he seems to make it pretty hard for me to deny. I keep finding passages (in a seeming random way) that address my struggle. Today I am challenged to take Paul's promises as God's promises...In Ephesians 3 Paul speaks of God's glorious, unlimited resources and his ability to empower us with inner strength. He seems to promise that "Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong." I have experienced this to be true - but am reluctant to attribute Paul's promise to God. Probably just because I am stubborn. And then I come to 2 Corinthians - where Paul specifically builds a case for his own authority. "I will give you all the proof you want that Christ speaks through me." The rest of the Corinthians passage is particularly powerful in speaking of God's own manifestation of strength through the weakness of Christ crucified. He then goes on to seemingly directly affirm my current journey: "Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith."
This makes a lot of sense. My journey of "testing God's promises" is actually a journey of testing my own faith. It's funny (weird/strange funny, not "lol" funny)...Am I ready to say that I have failed the test? I seem unwilling to say for sure that Jesus Christ is among us...why am I so stubborn? There is much evidence to suggest that he is, indeed, present. Maybe I do actually know . . . but there is some conflict going on in my soul. Do I really want to admit that I am struggling with my very identity as a Christian? That feels pretty scary. My experience tells me that God can handle it so it is o.k. I'm not always sure that others can, though.
God can handle it. I can handle it Dawn, but ultimately I very much value you as a sister in the Lord and a member of this body. I have seen people fall away from the faith, and I don't want that for you. I know that is partly selfish because I want you to stay part of this church.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand Paul to be recommending going on a search in the 2 Cor passage. I think he is telling us to open our eyes and see God in our midst. Genuine faith is open to and sees God's work in our midst. And faith is not some logical proof. Faith is seeing with God's eyes.
Thanks for your comments, but I'm not sure who is writing. Dale's comments usually come with his name on them...I think if you sign in to google before you comment it will post your name on the comment itself automatically - otherwise, just sign your name at the bottom.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually not worried about falling away from the faith - I think that the lack of anxiety in this process is really helpful in allowing me the room to grow and strengthen my faith and my beliefs. For me it is about one day at a time and day by day I continue to have what I need. It's sort of like in a marriage - continuing to be faithful even when the "feeling" of love isn't there - in faith that it will come back, and in the meantime, doing what we are "supposed" to do in order to cultivate that love again. I think that is what I am doing - not just sitting back in despair that I don't "feel" faithful but working toward a better understanding of what my faith is based on. Perhaps worry would be warranted if I were exploring other faith options - or seeking to put my faith in humanity. Neither of those options interest me.
Anyway, thanks again, whoever you are. I do feel loved by your interest, care, and concern.