(Written on July 12, 2010)
June 20, 2010 - My little notebook reads: "Today's agenda: breakfast, Misa Popular, Artisan Market, Anthropology Museum, University Students." We will be doing a "Red de Relaciones" (Relationship Web) during our time with the University Students tonight - a sort of focus group to elicit some stories. As we share a bit of our own stories over breakfast, and what has brought us to El Salvador, I realize that I'm still learning to be comfortable with the emotions that my story invokes in others. This comes to me as the emotions register on the faces of my fellow delegates in the brief telling of my own story and I write it down in my little notebook - a banana paper notebook that I bought in the airport in Costa Rica on my way down. I was in Costa Rica closing a chapter of my life that started over 16 years ago. This process is ever present in my mind as I interact with the emotions and stories of others here in El Salvador.
Joe shares about a new word: Xenofilia - "love of the stranger" that is translated in the Bible as "hospitality". This is set up in opposition to the new wave of Xenofobia that is growing in our own nation - a nation I do not feel strongly connected to - I didn't even vote in the last election - though it was ever so tempting to be a part of the wave of hope succeeded in electing our first black president - it was a hope I felt the need to resist, in standing for a hope that is not in the political powers of this world. And as the treatment of the immigrant population worsens in many areas of the country - I find myself bewildered as to an appropriate response on an individual level. I work with over 40 immigrant families from Mexico, Central, and South America each week - mostly mothers with their babies and toddlers, but also some fathers. I lived as an immigrant - not always legally - for 13 years in Central America - but I realize my situation was very different. A world without borders has always appealed to me, but what do I have to say to the political powers that enforce such imaginary lines drawn in the sand? I definitely love the stranger - the work I do with these families is often the highlight of my days - but it is probably not enough - I am very thankful for those who are actively advocating for the rights of these families. My work is on an educational level - I do what I can, but it is probably not enough.
Other jots in my notebook:
See I am making all things new.
Come & See & you will find where love lives. (This is a line from a song my good friend, Katie, wrote.)
God is forming a people. (This is a phrase TimO. uses quite a lot, and it is the one of our Schools for Conversion topics.)
And my notes on the Misa Popular (that is the popular mass that meets in the basement of the national cathedral - very focused on the encouraging writings of Monseñor Oscar Romero - at least the two times I have attended this mass:
Who do you say that I am? (¿Quien dice la gente que soy yo?)
Praying for brother countries, countries at war. (paises hermanos, paises en gerra). I am impressed that this tiny little country, the smallest one in Central America, finds a way to look out beyond itself to pray for countries like Pakistan - identifying with the destruction that war brings and praying for their brothers in such countries.
There is a little girl in the congregation - maybe 10, like my own boys - playing on her little DS or PSP or whatever electronic device she has been given. It catches my eye - not sure what to make of it.
Todo profeta es un hombre o una mujer de oración (Every prophet is a man or a woman of prayer).
Los cambios en un pais no son inmediato (the changes in a country aren't immediate) - this is not the first reference I have heard to the growing disillusionment of the people after the first FMLN candidate, Mauricio Funes, took office one year ago. There are still many problems in the country, but his firmest supporters understand that he can't make all the problems go away in an instance - I hope they understand that he can't really make the problems go away at all - but I also hope that this new government is taking steps to meet the needs of the people where they are felt the most - and that the changes will be sustainable.
...una relación profunda con el Señor. (...a deep relationship with God.)
They are still angry at the Arena party - the "14 families" - are now only 3-4 and our driver could name them. (I'm not sure now, as I write on July 12, how this ended up in the middle of my notes of the popular mass...)
Peter is the first to answer - the passionate one - the one who acts first and then thinks...
He (the priest) speaks to the hope that the people had in the new president "When we have a new president, El Salvador will be better..."
Romero no tenía miedo a involucrarse en el dolor del pueblo - y el dolor lo cambió...Cuando Romero hablaba, el pueblo escuchaba...(applause)
(Romero was not afraid to involve himself in the pain of the people, and the pain changed him...When Romero spoke, the people listened.)
He's preaching a 3 pt. sermon - not something I've heard much in the catholic context, but then again, I haven't really been to mass all that often.
There are even latino (Salvadoran?) tourists who come, take pictures, visit Romero's tomb, bow, and leave in the middle of mass.
'77 Romero homily: Don't confuse the liberation that Christ brings with the temporary liberation (economic, political)...We will continue to struggle for a better El Salvador.
¿Quien Soy para tu vida hoy? (Who am I for your life today?)
Are you ready to carry the burden of the difficulties that it means to live this dream?
Besides Mass - I was deeply moved by the following find at the MUNA (National Archeology Museum)
It looks as if the blood stains are still there.
Our driver, who walks around the museum with us - confirms in his own understanding the feeling I get that there were at one time human sacrifices done on this altar. He understands this as the way the ancient people looked at the world, that someone had to die to ensure a good harvest and safety for the rest of the people. I think about how this ancient history seemed to repeat itself in our own time - so much blood shed. It feels as if I am on holy ground.
Later, during our focus group - the university students make reference to the blood shed by their own family members - that motivates them to continue to study and to return to their community to make a difference - to bring better education, health care, economy, to their people. The have to do this, they have no other choice. They would be dishonoring the dead to do anything else with the lives they have been given. Translating their stories was emotionally draining, and by the end of the day I was truly spent. But I really enjoyed the fellowship, and getting to break bread with some young people I had met the year before. I do hope I can find the time in my life to continue in communication with some of them now that I am home.


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