I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them."
"I will take you out of the nations."
"I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land."
"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean;"
"I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols."
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;"
"I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."
"I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
- Ezekiel 36:23-27
Promises from Ezekiel 36 were shared with us recently as a congregation in a teaching given by a guest among us. They are quite poignant and touch the very core of the struggle that I imagine many victims of sexual abuse share.
I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them."
Profanity. It seems like a constant struggle for me that grates at the very core of sexual sin and abuse. As my sons pick up words that reference sexuality in vulgar terminology, and use them as throw-aways; something rises up in me, like a cobra, ready to strike. There is a way in which our wrong understanding of God profanes his name in a much subtler form than simply yelling out obscenities. God seems to be about correcting my own distorted views of who He/She is and this blog, my reading, the therapy issues that I am delving into seem to be a part of that. Beyond a personal level, God's name has been profaned on a global level, not by the "infidels" or the atheists but by those who claim Christianity as their battle cry and banner as they go about oppressing the poor. Is there a way in which our American wealth, when coupled by a call to missions, profanes God's name by implying that our way of life is an attainable and desirable goal? I recently overheard the youth at our church talking about how it would take 7 earths to sustain the "American way of life" if all were to enjoy (be enslaved by) it. God promises to show the holiness of His/Her name. Who will be privy to this revelation? Does this happen in small ways throughout history? Or is this a greater showing yet to come?
"I will take you out of the nations."
"I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land."
I am reminded of my own journey and life story in the first few lines here, how I was brought back to the land of my birth after 13 years abroad. I really resist the idea that "this land is my land". Many of us world citizens grow in our cultural adaptations to the point that we no longer feel completely at home anywhere. I struggle with the idea of commitment to a geographical location over the long haul though there have definitely been relationships in my life that feel like home. This same feeling leads to life partnership for some when that feeling of home is discovered in another, not previously known. The way of life that our church has chosen is one expression of lifelong partnership, not with a person, but with a people. It involves commitment to a particular place, in our case, th mission district of San Francisco. What did this promise mean to Israel, in exile due to their own choices and the sins of others? This sense of home seems to be a deep human need, indeed, the right to belong is framed as a right to "nationality" in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean;"
"I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols."
There are a few lines from an Amy Grant song, dating back to my high school CCM days, that I've never been able to shake:
You see, she's his little rag, nothing more than just a waif. He is mopping up his need. She is tired and afraid. Maybe she'll find a way through these awful years to disappear.
The song goes on to talk about hope and the new life God is bringing to this particular victim as the an answer to the question "Do I think there is a God?" But these are the words I have carried with me. In fact, I had forgotten the rest of the song entirely. Maybe there is no need to articulate further. We don't often talk about the process of cleaning out the rags we use to clean the bathroom. But God is promising, I would hope, more than just a rag clean enough to do the next dirty job. He is talking about cleansing and purifying whole people. The image is refreshing, especially as raindrops begin to fall outside my window this morning - and I am reminded of the process I am wading into, the newness I feel when I emerge from the water (specifically natural bodies of water) after a good, long, work out. The funny thing is, there is often residue (phyto-plankton) clinging to my face, or in the case of lake water, the lingering odor of boat fumes - but the cleanness I feel is on the inside. A healthier body, oxygen flowing in my veins. This is the type of cleansing I am looking for, and experiencing, little by little, as I delve into this process.
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you;"
"I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."
"I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
I am reminded of a poem I saw in the hallways of 14 long at UCSF during Mom's last hospital stay:
Stone
by Charles Simic
Go inside a stone.
That would be my way.
Let somebody else become a dove
Or gnash with a tiger's tooth.
I am happy to be a stone.
From the outside a stone is a riddle.
No one knows how to answer it
Yet within, it must be cool and quiet
Even though a cow steps on it full weight,
Even though a child throws it in a river;
The stone sinks, slow, unperturbed
To the river bottom
Where the fishes come to knock on it
And listen.
I have seen sparks fly out
When two stones are rubbed,
So perhaps it is not dark inside after all;
Perhaps there is a moon shining
From somewhere as though behind a hill -
Just enough light to make out
The strange writings, the star charts
On the inner walls.
Perhaps it is the human connection that is needed to turn our hearts of stone to hearts of flesh - to release the moonlight that shines within. Basically God is promising renewal, inner healing, the presence of His/Her Spirit that will be coupled with a walking in the path of obedience. Well, I seem to be on the road, as I have recently been invited, with sadness and joy, to join this quest for perspective.
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